Sunday, January 26, 2014

How Republicans can “Repeal” Obamacare

I recently saw an article on Yahoo! News in which Jay Carney, the president’s press secretary, says Obamacare is worth losing the Senate to Republicans. I say “saw” because I didn’t read it; I didn’t want to. What could possibly be in the article that’s worth my time? Nothing. However, this brings me to the Republican controlled House of Representatives. They claim Obamacare is unconstitutional and that they want to repeal it, but it won’t go over so well in the Democratic controlled Senate, leaving such a law repealing Obamacare dead. Well, good news Republicans in the House (yes, I’m talking specifically to you from here on out).

You see, you can “repeal” Obamacare. And it’s all legal like. As the tenth Amendment Center pointed out, Article 1, Section 7, of the Constitution requires all revenue for bills to be raised by the House. What does this mean for you? You, the House, control the purse strings to fund government as you see fit. James Madison, the guy Americans credit as writing the Constitution, states in Federalist 58: “The House of Representatives cannot only refuse, but they alone can propose, the supplies requisite for the support of government.” You see, Republicans in the House? You hold a majority in the House. You can choose not to fund Obamacare, and watch it die a slow, painful Constitutional death.

The Tenth Amendment Center reminds us that Article 1, Section 9, is “explicit that any time money needs to be draw from the treasury, it has to be done subject to appropriation law.” Again, Republicans that control the House, don’t fund the darn thing.

As a side note, notice what Madison was saying in Federalist 58: the House can refuse to fund not only unconstitutional laws, but constitutional laws as well. Keep that in your back pocket.

So, Republicans that control the House, why are y’all not doing this? Nobody can ever really know what goes on in a person’s head, but I have a few reasons why y’all are not doing this: you truly have no idea what’s in, or what is intended, in the Constitution; you don’t want to look like you “hate the poor;” thus, you don’t want to repeal Obamacare per se, but create your own version of unconstitutional government controlled health care and say, “See? Look how much we care,” a la Mitt in the photo above.

Proper Cell Phone Etiquette for the Socially Impaired

Am I beating a dead horse here? Stop me if you’ve heard this one.

An old man walks into a theater. He’s there with his wife and they’re waiting for their perpetually-late adult son to show up to the outing. This Old Codger, he’s the type of guy that doesn’t take any shit from anyone. A real man’s man if you ask me. So he’s sitting two-thirds of the way up in the middle, primo seating. It’s a good thing he got there early. The previews start and he’s excited to see this film he’s heard so much about. He heard it was nominated for some awards. This asshole in front of Old Codger, though, he’s been texting away and talking loudly to his wife. So Old Codger politely asks Mr. Asshole to be quiet and put away his phone. One thing leads to another and BAM there’s one less Mr. Asshole in the world. Do you get it?

It seems to be the lament of every comedian, but few people are truly getting the message, so let me put it simply for you: Put away your goddamn phone.

These days, we seem to be transfixed by glowing screens, by the omnipresent Bright-and-Shiny. We’ll be in the presence of friends, of family, of a hot date. And hey, doesn’t this food look delicious—I’d better post a pic of it to my Instagram! Can you believe that guy in the car in front of me?—I’d better tweet about it, that’ll show him! I saw this awesome video the other day—I’d better interrupt everyone’s conversation to show them the video now!

Stop. Just stop.

Did that guy in the theater in Florida deserve to get shot? Probably not, but let’s be honest here, I’m glad he did. Perhaps he’ll serve as the poster child for improper cell phone use. Maybe all of the other Mr. Assholes of the world will think twice before whipping out their cell phone at inopportune times. That Old Codger who’s getting charged for second degree murder, he’s a martyr, really. He sacrificed himself for the good of humankind.

There’s a reason that every theater in America reminds you to silence and put away your phone, usually multiple times. It’s because that bright-ass LED and any noise you make with your greasy lips and pudgy fingers is distracting to moviegoers. Respect the $30+ I spent for this outing, Mr. Asshole.

There’s also a reason that there are laws in many states banning cell phone use while on an active motorway. Yes, “active motorway” includes while you’re at a stoplight. If you’re texting, talking on your phone without using a hands-free device, or reading your Facebook feed while you’re driving, you’re not devoting 100% of your attention to making sure you don’t kill a couple kids on your way to work. Have you forgotten that you’re operating a two-ton death machine? If you’re distracted when the light turns green, then you are not ready to move immediately, significantly delaying me getting to the theater to spend $30+. Every few seconds of delay at that light is another car you trapped by the upcoming red light. Plus, if you’re just now realizing that the light is green, you haven’t sufficiently checked to make sure there aren’t any errant children in your peripheral. If you’re out to dinner with a loved one, then every time you separate yourself from their presence by looking into your phone, you’re isolating and alienating them. You’re casting them away from you. You are choosing your online presence, or your friends who are not present, over the ones who are. You’re pissing everyone the fuck off. Who knows if the guy behind you is just another Old Codger who’s at his wit’s end with Mr. Assholes like you? Who knows if he’s got a gun? BAM, one less Mr. Asshole.

Now, here’s the thing: I’m just as addicted to social media as most people. Everyone likes being the center of attention, at least every once in a while. That’s why we take selfies, why we gripe about our day online, why we feel the need to announce to our entire network of friends, family and associates the minutiae of our lives. We feel that we’re important, that we’re all beautiful, interesting, unique snowflakes and everyone is interested in what we’re doing right now. But there’s a time and place for everything. Wait until you get home. Ask to be excused and step out if that text or phone call is so important. Nobody really cares that much about your life. If you are really that concerned about social interaction, then live in the moment and not through an LED screen. And for the love of God, put away your damn phone.

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Toms + Wedges = Garbage


A few weeks ago I was at a bar, drinking and collecting a sizable amount of froth in my mustache when I noticed something that turned my stomach.  Toms wedges. I literally almost lost my Smithwick's.

For those of you that may not know what Toms wedges are, I shall explain so you can understand my disgust. 1. Wedge: a raised shoe heel where the heel and the sole form a solid block. Basically a high heel that has been filled in. They're like the training wheel of heels. They sound like hooves during steps and, like gingers, they're attractive at a rate of about one in ten. Basically, they suck. 2. Toms: a shoe with the alpargata design or in other words made of canvas or cloth.  Imagine cutting your pockets out of your pants and making them into shoes.  Basically they suck.  Now you see why I was disturbed by this sight.  An unsexy heel coming together with a flimsy cloth shoe in an unholy union to create possibly the most unsexy thing since Crocs.  So ugly, it's criminal.

Now some people may say I'm being a bit harsh because Toms give to charity.  Yes, it's true that for every shoe sold, Toms donates a shoe to a child in an impoverished country.  My question is, if I was an impoverished child would I want a crappy cloth shoe or would I want maybe a nice meal and some medical care?  Not to mention if I'm living in an area that probably doesn't have the best paved roads as well as other hazards to my feet, do I want to cover them in canvas pieces of crap or would I like something more durable?

 It's as if Toms is doing everything to make footwear unsexy. It's a trend that hopefully doesn't spread and start ruining classics like the hooker boot. Thankfully for now it seems isolated to "conscious" yuppies and quasi-hipsters in skinny jeans.  Oh did I mention Toms also sells eyewear?  They use a portion of eyewear profits to restore and save eyesight in people in developing countries.  Really though, I think it's part a sick diabolical plan to restore their sight so they have to be subjected to witnessing these horribly ugly shoes because honestly when I see them, I begin to envy the blind.

Is Paper Money Constitutional?



If you know Rob Faust, you would describe him as a man who’s deeply twisted, an aficionado of adult films, and has warped views of women. However, if you really know Rob Faust, you would also describe him in the same way, but add he’s extremely intelligent on U.S. history, the Constitution, and libertarian philosophy. So, when he says, in polite conversation as he’s wont to do, that the U.S. dollar, and all paper money in general in the U.S., is unconstitutional, he’s 100% correct.

You see, at the conventions where men gathered together to increase the size and power of government (sorry, but that’s exactly what they were doing when they decided to scrap the Articles of Confederation and create the Constitution), they had some worries, one of them the danger of paper money, commonly called Bills of Credit because the paper was unbacked by gold. During the War for Independence, the U.S. financed the war with paper money; after the war, the State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations (if you’re ever playing Trivial Pursuit and asked, “What’s the state with the longest name in the Union?” that’s the answer) was issuing paper money like it was going out of style. The result was hyperinflation in both instances. In 1779, the Continental, as the paper money was called, was worth a penny, and George Washington wrote, “A wagon load of money will scarcely purchase a wagon load of provisions.” Hence the term “not worth a Continental.” In Rhode Island’s case, the paper money was so worthless, nobody wanted to trade with the damn place.

Having first-hand knowledge of the economic danger of paper money, these founders decided to eliminate it from their new country. Thus, the constitution states the following: “No State shall… coin Money; emit Bills of Credit; make any Thing but gold and silver Coin a Tender in Payment of Debts…”

As far as the federal government itself, it has the power to coin money, not print money. The federal government can create gold and silver coins, not print paper. Now, you may say, “Sergio, the Constitution says states can’t emit Bills of Credit or make paper money tender; it doesn’t say the federal government can’t.” That’s correct; however, look at the Tenth Amendment: “The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.” Nowhere in the Constitution does it give the power to issue Bills of Credit, or accept anything other than gold or silver as tender to the federal government. Therefore, paper money is forbidden in these United States by the states themselves and the federal government.

As you can see, the founders knew the economic consequences of paper money. Paper money creates the boom bust cycle. Sure, expanding the money supply unbacked by an actual good (gold is a physical good) creates an economic boom, but the expansion also creates the bust, as there is not enough of the good (gold) to redeem when people want it. And let’s not forget hyperinflation. Knowing all this, the founders made paper money illegal. Look at the U.S. dollar today created by the bank known as the Federal Reserve. Do you really think all the paper money in circulation today is backed by all the gold in Fort Knox? If you do, then you must think my studio apartment is a mansion.

Schools Don't Need Junk Food



Over the past five, going on six years, I think it is fair to say I have not agreed much with President Obama's policies, in fact, I cannot really think of one off the top of my head, save for ending DADT, that really pleased me. On the other hand, his wife Michelle has pushed for something that I wholeheartedly support - healthier school lunches.

Through her campaign, "Let's Move," Mrs. Obama has been trying to curb childhood obesity through healthy meals and exercise. Part of this campaign includes "Chefs Move to Schools," which involves professional chefs volunteering some time to work with students and train school workers in the kitchen on how to make healthier meals.

Now, why would someone like me, a staunch supporter of small government, support such an endeavor? Simple, I don't want my tax dollars and healthcare premiums going up because your lazy kid needs insulin for their preventable diabetes. Kids don't need vending machines with sodas or candy bars, they need sports or some other after school activity that does not involve holding a video game controller and healthy meals. And schools have an obligation to see to it that they offer them. And if you don't believe me, you should have watched the latest episode of "Opposite Worlds" on Syfy - the professional gamer got her ass kicked in the elimination challenge that involved physical activity costing her a chance to win $100,000.

What really pisses me off about school dietary plans is what they get away with. As far as nutrition goes, they can count tomato paste as a vegetable and potatoes in on the nutritional side. Sounds ok, right? Well, what are they used for? Tomato paste is used to top greasy pizzas, and potatoes get made into French fries, mmm, more grease.

Oh, your little Johnny won't eat healthy food? Fuck that, Johnny will eat what you tell him to. Of course, if mom and dad define "family meal time" as a trip to a fast food drive thru, can we really expect kids to choose mixed vegetables over a corn dog? Probably not.

I heard a great point be made by either a local political pundit, or a friend the other day concerning the fast food employees wanting $15 an hour, bear with me, I promise I can connect the two issues. People who rely on fast food restaurants to provide sustenance for their families are usually poor, ergo, they buy processed burgers and mechanically separated "chicken" instead of fresh food from the grocery store because it is cheaper, and really, who can blame them for making their paychecks last longer? Well, if we were to pass laws making the minimum wage $15 an hour for burger flippers prices at fast food joints will go up - a lot, making fresh grocery store foods cheaper in comparison, (at least artificially due to inflated prices at the fast food joints and mentally in the minds of conscientious shoppers). While I do not support a $15 an hour minimum wage for people who ask me if I "want fries with that," it undeniably would have some benefits for people looking for an excuse to go to Wegmans instead of Wendy's. Hell, even the asinine firearms bill Obama tried to get passed included reciprocity throughout the US for concealed carry permit holders...but I digress.

So, how do they fit together? Raise the minimum wage to $15 an hour at fast food joints, people will stop going to them, parents will start making healthier meals for their kids and your little Johnny won't wrinkle his nose at school when he sees cauliflower instead of cheese fries. There really is no intelligent reason not to get rid of junk foods and soda machines from public schools. While it may cost a little more to get things rolling, the money saved by not becoming one of Wilford Brimley's diabetic friends will surely pay off the difference.

Besides, kids go to school to learn and think right? How can they with caffeine and saturated fat rushing through them?


Saturday, January 18, 2014

BoF is Now on Twitter and Instagram!


Bearders and beardettes, at the start of the year we said there would be some upgrades to the BoF blog, Facebook page, and BoF in general. Well, today marks the beginning of noticeable improvements. You can now follow us on both Twitter and Instagram.

We chose to dive into the world of these mediums because sometimes we see something that is notable, but maybe not article worthy. Also, since new articles here at www.beardsoffury.com can can a while to write, we figured we can connect with you, our fans more often via Twitter and Instagram.

Here are our Twitter and Instagram accounts and we will be adding links to them in the right border of the page soon:

Twitter: @beards_of_fury

Instagram: beards_of_fury

Since we are new to both of these things, it should be a fun learning process. We promise there will be no Tweeting of BoF Balls in the style of Congressman Weiner's Tweets. So, follow us and help us make them successful.

Friday, January 10, 2014

Imports, Exports, and Trade: Oh, My!


We here at Beards of Fury have our fans. On a different note, the country is full of citizens who don’t quite understand economics. And it’s also full of people who really don’t understand international trade. There are people who think mercantilism, where buying locally, or only American, where exports are preferred over exports and money is kept locally, brings about the wealth of the nation, even though Adam Smith debunked that idea way back in 1776. So, when fans ask for some knowledge, they get it. Here, I present to you, what really goes on with international trade.

Imports always equal exports: Sometimes people hear the phrase “negative trade balance.” This means we, as a country, import more than we export. Because the word “negative” is in there, people think it must be bad.  However, here’s the thing: imports equal exports, and vice versa. You see, when you want that new TV built in China, you pay with American dollars. The Chinese can’t pay their workers in our currency, nor taxes, or purchase local goods and services. So, they turn around and buy American products. Or, they may invest in American businesses, allowing the company to pay workers or purchase capital. That’s why we see a “negative trade balance;” the government doesn’t record the investment, but either way the money comes back to us. Imports always equal exports.

Buying locally has unintended consequences: The phrases “buy locally” and “buy American” are heard time and again. Why? Because mercantilists think wealth is obtained by keeping money in the country and grows an economy. But, if you think about it, if every country believes exports should exceed imports, and buy local, then nobody’s exporting anything, completely defeating the policy. If you think about even more, “buy American” is no different from “buy Chattanooga” or “buy Tennessee.” If the climate isn’t right and the land not suitable for producing oranges, thus making them expensive anywhere in Tennessee, but the reverse in Florida, then buying oranges from Florida leaves you with more money. To buy more stuff. Meaning you have more wealth. As Lew Rockwell says about the people who push to buy local: “Actually, what they are doing is raising the prices of consumer products, harming opportunity for workers to find good employment, hindering growth of economies in the developing world, and inadvertently serving as foot soldiers for the mercantile interest groups that seek to shield themselves from more efficient but foreign competitors.” The unintended consequences abound when you “buy local.”

Free trade is freedom: If you’re free, that means you make choices (whether they’re intelligent choices is not a matter of economics or politics). When you’re told what you can buy, where you can buy it, and at what price you will buy it means you’re not free. If Japan makes, in my opinion, better and cheaper widgets, then the government has no business telling me I cannot buy them. Now, the devil’s advocate may say, “You’re free to buy from anyone, anywhere.” Well, when the government puts quotas and tariffs on foreign goods, raising their prices, meaning the American version, which was more expensive is now cheaper, means the government is giving you the illusion of choice. Why does the government get a say in how I shop?

International trade is not complex. Is there more to this international trade? Yes, but what you just read is international trade in a nutshell. In fact, the word “international” is not needed. Trade is trade. Whether it’s with the butcher in your city, the mall in the next county, the theme park in the next state, or the business in a different country. Erase all of those borders in your mind and find the product you want at a price you like.

Thursday, January 9, 2014

US Citizens Owe Veterans Nothing



Well, do I have your attention? Good, because first off, I want to point out I am a veteran of the Marine Corps and deployed twice to Iraq and once to Afghanistan - in fact all of us who write for Beards of Fury are vets. That being said, do I want anything from it? No, I do not. Sadly however, many of my fellow vets feel they are entitled to being worshiped and having their asses kissed by their fellow Americans - and to me that's pathetic.

Do I seem pissed? Awesome, because I am. It's 2:15 in the fucking morning and instead of looking at naked pics of women or watching a rerun of "Top Chef," I am ranting about a hopefully small group of fellow vets, or at least I hope it's a small group. I had planned on writing about something different for today - my mock "Interview with President Obama," but alas, that will have to wait for another day. How did this all start? Easy, one of my best friends tagged me in a debate he was having in a Facebook thread. My friend leans left, so we don't always agree when it comes to politics, but when someone questions his patriotism, and love for his country just because he may not agree with the wars in Iraq or Afghanistan, that's when blood is thicker than water, and I get pissed. The exact quote from one particular piece of shit was: "People like me have sacrificed a lot so jerks like you can say the most vulgar, and evil things about my fellow soldiers. Each and EVERY response proves that you and all those who marched in protest of the troops hate America it's [sic] Constitution, and those who defend it! Spin that as much as you think you can, but scum like you only breath [sic] free air becaose [sic] of soldiers like me!"

Wow. People like the dipshit I just quoted make me want to support the pro-choice movement or at least sterilization. This guy actually thinks he is entitled to shit because he thinks he is King Shit! In reality, he is a sad specimen of a human being in dire need of a dictionary and Phonics book.

When I returned home from my deployments did people in my hometown pat me on the back, give me hugs or buy me drinks or dinner? Yes, of course they did - but do I think I was entitled to all or any of it? Hell no - I was, and still am, grateful for it. Veterans of today should be grateful that although many citizens never supported the wars in Iraq or Afghanistan, they have always supported us. We are so lucky not to be spit in the face by others upon our return or called "baby killers," like many of our dads, uncles or grandfathers were during the Vietnam era.

Someone saying that another does not support the troops because they do not support a war is like saying a conservative is racist because they do not agree with President Obama's policies. Both thoughts are completely inaccurate - and ignorant.

Does anyone owe us, (veterans), anything? Yep, our government owes us the benefits we have earned and hopefully in a timely manner.

So to all my fellow veterans, the next time someone tells you they never supported the wars in Iraq or Afghanistan, don't get your panties in a bunch, or think they are un-American, or that they owe you their love. They don't owe you diddly squat - you volunteered remember. The next time someone thanks you for your service, thank them, and then buy them a drink because "thanks" should go both ways.


Saturday, January 4, 2014

I Don't Get It



The clock has struck midnight, and here we are in the year 1984. My apologies, 2014. So much happened in 2013. Things were done and things were said. Now, I know I didn’t attend an Ivy League university or a top 25 institution even though, as a kid growing up bouncing between Rhode Island and Virginia, Brown University and the University of Virginia were in my backyards, but there were a few things my family and friends did or said that sprung up in 2013 that just didn’t make sense to me.

The first thing that didn’t make sense to me was the call for sanctions against Iran. The sanctions mean Iran cannot conduct global trade. It’s meant to punish them. The same people who called for these sanctions also called to “buy American” to help strengthen our economy. If buying locally strengthens an economy, then why are we helping Iran strengthen their economy with sanctions?

The next thing that baffled me was military members that were upset when ordinary people criticized them, the government, or the country, but mostly when the criticism was directed towards them. They would say things like, “Because of me, you have freedom speech; if you don’t like it, leave the country!” Some would even call for the destruction of the criticizer’s livelihood. Now, if you fight for and defend freedom of speech, why are you upset when it’s used? If you fight for and defend freedom of speech, do you get to control who says what? And if you do, then doesn’t that mean you control speech, therefore eliminating free speech? Do these military members, who stood with Phil Robertson, see the irony?

Finally, I was perplexed when I was called an isolationist. The ones who cast that word on me believe in “buy local” and border control. I’m for free trade and open borders; how am I the isolationist?

As you can see, I’m just sitting around scratching my head. I know shit won’t be easier in 1984, sorry, 2014, because more things will spring up. I guess I have to deal with it.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Rob and James' End-of-Year Review



Happy New Year bearders and beardettes! Hopefully you all survived last night, (a key indicator that you did, is you reading this right now). We wanted to take a moment to thank you all for your support of both this page, and our Beards of Fury (BoF) Facebook page. - so, thanks! BoF was started just this past September, and since then, this website has had over 12,500 views and our Facebook page, by word of mouth and the support of other great pages such as "The Elephant in the Room," and "The Society of Bearded Gentlemen," (to name a couple, but definitely not them all), has garnered almost 2,300 "Likes!"

Over the past several months our articles by Rob, James, Sergio, and Dave have run the gambit subject wise, and that's how we like it. Sometimes it may take a little longer to get a new article out, but unlike some other pages. we don't like to just produce swill.

Our articles have also helped us accomplish our goals of making people think, be made aware of what's going on, making people laugh, and on occasion - pissing off people from time to time, (James actually got banned for 12 hours from Facebook for one such article).

What follows are some stats and our favorite quotes, and comments, with our own responses!

Top 5 Read Articles:

5. "Choke Your Chicken, Not Yourself" (397 views) - Have you ever thought of giving yourself  a new sensation while rubbing one out? In this hilarious, yet informative article, Rob Faust tells us why you should never choke yourself while you stroke yourself!

4. "T2SDA - Highway Terrorists" (424 views) - Ah, yes, James Millman's favorite article he has written to date. Written soon after hearing about a group of truckers led by "General Lee," (and we still aren't sure if that name refers to the actual name of the group's leader, or the traitorous Confederate general),  looking to shut down America, and worse yet, the roads James and Rob take to get to work - this is the article that got James suspended from Facebook, and got idiots to try to put a few coherent sentences together in the "comment" section. In the end, they couldn't clog a toilet with all their bullshit, never mind the roads surrounding DC.

3. "Hemp, Hemp, Hooray - Legalize the Shit Today!" (566 views) - The one article we shared on Reddit that actually got some views, and made it to #2 in the "marijuana" section the first day, and stayed in the top 20 for a few days. James is still trying to think of something else that will give pot smokers the "reading munchies" again.

2. "Beards - The Keystone to Peace in Our Time" (683 views) - Rob and James teamed up in this comparison of people throughout history who have had beards, versus those who did not. Suffice to say, time and time again history has proven that the less facial hair a person has, the more evil they are. Now, some people did comment and try to point out "evil doers" who sported beards, and each time Rob and James proved them wrong. Furthermore, while there may have been a few bad eggs in the "bearded" category during the existence of humanity - the beardless section still has the biggest cocksucker in their corner, Adolf Hitler. Don't think the Holocaust existed? Feel free to goose step your anti-Semitic ass off this page.

1. "Who Determines Wages?" (1,477 views) - By far the most popular article on this site, this is a must read for anyone and everyone who has not read it. Sergio Leonard, the human "libertarian encyclopedia," educates us all on just who determines wages. This article can and should be used as a birthday, Chanukah, or Christmas present. Don't be afraid of learning something you may have not already learned, and check out this great piece!

Top 5 Viewer Countries:

5. Russia (323 views)
4. Canada (338 views)
3. China (350 views)
2. Ukraine (1,502 views),
1. United States (8,330 views)

Honorable mention: Kyrgyzstan, the UK, Malaysia, France, and Germany!

Top 10 Quotes From Our Articles (in no particular order):

1. "Now, go forth, knowing your Hulkamania retro, mesh half-shirt is not a failure, but a bad fashion choice." - Sergio Leonard

2. "I've been with a number of women that have wanted some light to heavy choke action during coitus and as a true gentleman I obliged." - Rob Faust

3. For the life of me, I cannot recall ever reading a news headline such as "Child Beaten to Death after Dad Smokes Weed," or "Husband Kills Wife for Not Enough Munchies in Pantry." - James Millman

4. "Any man caught wearing Crocs must forfeit his man card for up to one year, during which time he must adhere to a strict regimen of red meat, weight training and hardcore porn." - Rob Faust

5. "Having almost drowned once, I found the experience to be less than boner-worthy." - Rob Faust

6. "Until that happens, eh, fuck it - never mind." - Dave Deshawn Gosling

7. "Every time I see those jars of disgustingness in the jelly aisle, I can only think of the Spice Girls' song "2 Become 1," and if Baby Spice didn't turn me on singing about shagging someone, making peanut butter and jelly stew together in the same jar definitely won't." - James Millman

 8. "You're more likely to be ruled by Lord Licorice than live in a classless society." Rob Faust

9. "Beards could never have a bad name." - Beards of Fury

10. "No minimum wage law can change how you, the consumer, value a good or service, thus valuing one if the three factors of production, wages." - Sergio Leonard

The "Sometimes it is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid, than to open it and remove all doubt" awards go to:

1. "you fowl mouth pigs give beards a bad name." - Anonymous (BoF Responds: "We think you meant 'foul mouthed' there skippy, the only fowl here, is your chickenshit ass.")

2.  "they're haven't been 2 parties since 1776. that's a completely inaccurate & uneducated statement." - Timothy Brown (BoF Responds: "So, what do you call using the incorrect form of 'there,' using a number in place of a word, and not capitalizing the first word of a sentence man?")

3. "How dare you use education if one can add or read...wtf is your issue...Leave extra early and take the back ways into d.c." - Anonymous (BoF Responds: Yea, sorry about writing in complete sentences and words that possibly exceed three syllables. Furthermore, just as another reader commented, there are no back roads into DC, and even if there were, we wouldn't risk getting shot taking them.")

4. "I am a disabled Vietnam vet and I can guarantee this is not the country I fought for." - Anonymous (BoF Responds: "First off, this 'Anonymous,' is the same guy who provided us with the first quote in this section. Secondly,  unless he did not fight for the US during Vietnam, this is indeed the same country - or have our geography teachers been lying to us all these years?")

5. "I strongly feel your disrespect of hard working people who are suffering probably a lot more than you is wrong" - Anonymous (BoF Responds: "We actually agreed with several points the Truckers to Shutdown America' tried to make, we only despised their way of going about making them. Oh, and you forgot the "." at the end if your sentence, dumb ass.)

So, folks, there you have it - our "End of Year Review." What is great is that all this happened in a few short months, and we have all of 2014 to grow like Rip Van Winkle's beard! Thanks again for everything - stay tuned for updates to this page, our Facebook page and more great articles coming soon by the guys at BoF!

Beard on.

-James Millman and Rob Faust.