ABOUT

 Rob Faust

Rob Faust was born in 30 AD outside the gates of Jerusalem. During the crucifixion of Jesus of Nazareth, a single whisker fell into the sand below his feet. This Body of Christ mixed with the Blood of Christ spilled by the Spear of Longinus in the sands of Golgotha. Together they formed the holy being known as Rob Faust who arose from the ground naked and glistening much like Arnold in Terminator...actually a bearded Terminator is a great way of describing him. Shortly after this Faust came upon a Roman soldier and upon being offended by the soldiers bare face, Faust slayed him and took his sandals. Bedecked in only a dead Romans' sandals Faust trekked north to find men of beards that he could relate to. Upon reaching Northern Europe all but Faust's face grew cold until he came upon the great wolf, Frenri, which he slayed to make a cloak. It was deemed that only something with such a fierce visage as Frenri's face could cover Faust's manhood so it was made into a codpiece. Throughout the many years after Faust traveled the world feeding the homeless, saving villages from bandits and making love to so many women that he was dubbed "Faust the Fornicator". During his travels he met James Millman and formed Beards of Fury.
 



James Millman

Born to Odin and Wonder Woman, James Millman was raised by wolves on Mount Olympus where he discovered how to hunt by only using his teeth. At the age of 10 he was adopted by a couple of nice dwarves as they made their way through the forest below the mountain. During his years with the dwarves, James learned many things: it is not okay to put a leash on a dwarf and expect them to stay friendly, height jokes after a while get old, (at least to little people), and most importantly - how to grow a beard. When James turned 18 he set off on a trek to seek out other bearded men and learn from them words of wisdom and how to be better at being so fucking awesome. Along the way he met Rob Faust and together you have the Beards of Fury. Try not to look directly into their eyes - one can only take so much awesome at once and you could be turned to stone.

While in the realm of reality James can be found sitting on his front porch making sure his neighbors abide by the local leash laws, yelling at the neighborhood imps for having too much fun, playing with his cat, and working to spread the ideals of freedom, humor, and critical thought through his prose.

When he is able to escape reality, seek James out as he wanders throughout Middle Earth, Westeros, Castle Rock, Ford County, or fights side-by-side with Bayaz and the Union forces as they defend their home and freedom against the Gurkish hordes surrounding them.




Guest Writers:





Sergio Leonard                                         






Dave Deshawn Gosling





Chuck Bachman

No comments:

Post a Comment