Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Gagging on Gaga?

Meat dresses, giant hair, masks, and bile. What do they all have in common? If you said something that Lady Gaga worn, you would be correct.  I'm sure most have heard already, but, last week during a concert Lady Gaga had a "vomit painter" puke green paint all over her during the show.  Ah yes, vomit painting.  Bulimic beauty.  Nothing says expression like shoving your fingers down your throat and emptying
the contents of your stomach all over something.  Yes, Lady Gaga is at it again with her antics.

Lady Gaga is actually very talented in staying in the media spotlight.  She has a great method.  Drop album, make crazy music video, do something outlandish.  It gets views. It keeps people interested even if it's not always in a positive way.  Any news is good news right?  I'm all about performers putting on great shows but when does it go from being a great performance and focusing on music to just pulling a stunt.  In this day and age shock value is almost a legitimate product though.  I guess Gaga will be Gaga after all.

Now let's focus on the actual performance.  It happened when Lady Gaga performed her song "Swine".  It started off rather normal for a Lady Gaga song but partway through it a girl that originally looked like an awkward background dancer, wearing what looked like discount Hot Topic attire and electrical tape, drank a pint of green paint and proceeded to throat-bang herself with her fingers.  As she continued to finger-fuck her throat she moved closer to Lady Gaga and delivered the recently ingested paint all over the front of Lady Gaga.  Voila!  A masterpiece!  I'm sure this was supposed to have some sort of really deep meaning, however, it really resembled something out of The Exorcist or maybe some goop from that green Slimer guy from Ghostbusters.  Instead of calling Father Merrin to perform an exorcism though, both women climb onto a giant mechanical pig.  While riding this giant porcine contraption the vomit painter continued to gag all over Gaga.  Lady Gaga would later refer to this as "art in it's purest form".  If this is art, then every college frat bathroom is a fucking Guggenheim.  Seriously, what's next, shit art?  Take some Ex-Lax and blow your ass out all over a blank canvas and say it's representing something from your soul instead of something from your sphincter? "I poured my soul into this!"  No, you poured your ass onto it.

This is why I have trouble getting into a lot of art these days.  Covering yourself in paint and rolling around doesn't make you a genius, it just makes you a sticky mess.  Puking all over a canvas or a shock-pop artist doesn't make you a visionary, it just makes you a calorie deficient moron with bad breath.  Scribbling chalk all over a chalkboard doesn't make you any type of artist, it just makes you a lazy asshole.  I've seen far better art in my local comic store but nobody is sitting around going "Oh my god it's so deep and meaningful" even though it takes many more hours to create than the aforementioned "masterpieces" and actual thought and skill.  Why?  Probably because who it's created by and created for, aren't pretentious douchebags.  Also Gaga should wake up and realize that most of her fans don't care for her messages...whatever those may be, they only care that her songs are catchy.  "Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah Roma-roma-mamaa Ga-ga-ooh-la-la" is about as deep as a pee drip.  Leave the meaning and messages to those not covered in regurgitated Dutch Boy.

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