Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Point/Counterpoint: Open Carrying Rifles in Establishments

For the first time ever, two writers for Beards of Fury are squaring off, mano-a-mano, in a battle of intelligence, wit, and of course, sarcasm. The topic? People carrying rifles into stores such as Starbucks, and Target. The opponents? In the blue corner and arguing in favor of carrying rifles into stores and wearing a top hat, monocle, and tuxedo is Sergio Leonard. Over on the other side in the red corner wearing a newsboy cap, cravat, and a track suit is James Millman. Let the battle begin!

“Yes, You Can, but No, You Should Not”
Yesterday, I went to my local Starbucks wearing what I wanted because, well, I could. I wish you could have seen me because I did it to draw attention to myself and, well, no, that’s it, I just wish you were there because that would have meant more people saw me. I strutted in to order one of those mocha choca lata whatever’s wearing three inch heels, fishnet stockings, Daisy Duke short shorts, my t-shirt tied up by my moobs so people could see the amazing ab that I have, that’s right – one ab, pink lipstick and to top it off, a glittering orange wig. Now, you may be wondering why the hell I did this, and the truth is, I didn’t. And why is that? Because, I would have looked like a fucking idiot, and made any man that could pull it off, look very bad.

I want you to take that horrible thought of what I could wear to any Starbucks, Target, Chipotle, etc, and apply that to all the attention whores who have been going around to the same aforementioned establishments with their AR-15s, AK-47s and other rifles. Why do it? Sure, in establishments that allow for firearms and in states where it is legal to open carry them, these “gun lovers” do have the Constitutional right to do so, however, why do it? Don’t get me wrong, I am a huge supporter of the Second Amendment, I built an AR-15 with the help of a friend and have a CCW allowing me to carry a concealed weapon, yet I have a hard time justifying this nonsense.

The idiots, like the ones in the picture for this post, are just that…attention whoring idiots, are doing nothing to further their cause of supporting the Second Amendment, and if anything, they are hurting it. While I have yet to have the pleasure of seeing one of these studs in any store I have gone to, I really hope I do. That way, I will be able to show everyone else in the store that (1) they are a fool, and (2) not all firearm owners are like him. I can see the conversation now; Him: “But, I’ve got my rights!” Me: “No, shithead, you have diapers, Ding Dongs and cat food in a shopping cart.”

And what has been coming out of all this? Establishments that have for a long time allowed firearms on their premises are starting to ban them, and that is sad because a few morons are punishing everyone else. Good job assholes. I cannot say I blame any business owner who bans firearms within their buildings after people take advantage of a privilege, (yea, it’s a privilege, not a right to carry a firearm inside of a private business), they allow. You give an inch, and someone will try to take a mile.

So, for those of you who are foaming at the mouth, waving a mini American flag and saying over and over again, “Out of my cold dead hands,” remember, what I said I wore to a Starbucks is also legal, but just because you can do something, that does not mean you should, because you may just be making yourself look like a buffoon.

“Just Because You Can, Yes You Fucking Should!”
 People do dumb shit. People do stupid shit. People do fucked up shit. Why? Because we are people. We have our faults. But that that is just fine. Why? If you believe we were created by a divine entity, then you believe that divine entity bestowed upon us a little something called free will. If you do not believe in all of that, you do acknowledge you exist; because you can actually acknowledge you exist, then you have free will.

Free will means we can make choices. Making choices is what makes us free. Any law or regulation that insists we act a certain way or face punishment means you are not free. Why are slaves not free? Because they cannot make choices; laws are in place to ensure that they behave on only certain ways. As long as you do not harm an individual (taking away their right to be left alone or to live), steal from them (taking away their right to own property and do as they see fit with it), or fraud people (taking away their ability to choose in a manner they otherwise would not choose), it is all good. To paraphrase Thomas Jefferson: as long as it does not pick my pocket, or break my bones, whatever cock suckers!

Now, being free, making choices, means we can make some fucked up, dumb ass decisions. That’s what being free is. But what is a fucked up, dumb ass decision? It is subjective. You cannot decide what an irrational choice is. Men… whoops! I fucked up! People have goals, and they apply decisions and actions to obtain those goals. You may think those actions are just wrong, but not the people who are enacting them, because to them it will take them to their goal.

So when somebody walks into a Starbucks, a Chipotle, a Target, or Rob Faust’s favorite hipster vinyl store with an AR-15, an AK-47, or whatever, it is their choice. They had a reason. Maybe they did want attention; so what? Maybe they wanted to see how dedicated to the Second Amendment the government truly is. Maybe that’s the only weapon they have right now to open carry. Who knows? Who cares?

When you start telling people to change their behavior because they are making a certain group look bad, what did you just do? You limited their choice; you regulated behavior; you took away freedom, and it looks like you have a great future as a politician in any political party. As long as you don’t point that gun at me, or another individual, be free, mother fuckers, and carry that rifle in full view everywhere you go!


  1. I support the 2nd amendment , open and concealed carry (I think it's moronic that states allow open carry yet if you wear a garment that covers your weapon your breaking the law) And I've done some questionable things in my life ( Bud doesn't make you Weiser) but I would not carry a long gun into a crowded place of business especially a eatery where adults and children are milling around and seated to eat. If you watch these videos a count how many times these activist muzzle swipe each other , their children ,by standers ect. you'll see what I'm getting at. I wouldn't want to be in or own an establishment that they frequented either. Basic gun safety and the intelligence to know where a long gun is appropriate and where it's not would go a long way to further the cause. If your argument is it's your only weapon I say if you can afford an "assault rifle" at today's prices then you can afford a black powder pistol which would be legal to carry even in states like Texas where traditional hand guns are not allowed. Further more when you say it's your right it is , it's also the proprietors right to not allow guns in their place of business and if they do allow it we should appreciate it and follow their rules. Neither store owners or customers will know if your a law abiding citizen or some psychopath if your a jackass holding an ak at low ready trying to get media attention. So far stupidity has cost several places of business to change their rules for carrying and though I don't carry ( Let permit lapsed ,State wouldn't grandfather it) I feel safer knowing that some do. So keep up the great work your doing you stupid fucktards , your really help your cause!

  2. I want a law where I can shoot anyone I want, or else i'm a slave. (immediate outburst that I came up with after reading first paragraph)